Motivation

It's something I've been lacking lately. It used to be a driving force in my life. I was always motivated. I wanted a promotion. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted a nicer car. I was motivated to be successful, and I did it. But something lately has taken over my mind and body. Call it laziness. Complacency. Maybe just boredom. But deep down in my soul, I've lost my motivation.  I've stopped going to the gym. In fact, lately looking in the mirror I've noticed I look like a tired, middle aged man with a beer gut. Not a 26 year old up and coming store manager with the largest drug store chain in the nation. I should be energized, confident, and happy. I feel bored.
I sit back and try to think of the things that used to motivate me. My kids. There is my motivation. Why isn't it enough lately? Why does even a trip to the park seem like a daunting task?
Fear of failure. I used to be terrified that I'd never get to where I wanted to be in life. Never be out of debt. Never drive a new car. Never be able to pay for the kids' college tuition.  I'm not even close to being able to do any of that right now, but I'm on the right track.
I'm bored. Not of my life, but the challenges. I have a gorgeous wife, 3 beautiful kids, and an amazing family that is always there for support. But I feel unchallenged. I'm complacent at work. "Same shit, different day." I hate being that guy. I'm supposed to be the leader there. I need more. I need to be told that I'm doing great. I need to be told that I need to improve. Something. I need a challenge.
At home I'm lazy. And Kristen if you are reading this I sincerely apologize for the past couple of weeks. I'm struggling, but I promise I will figure it out. I need a project at home. Something to get excited about. I think it's time to start on the garage. "The Man Cave."
I'm bored with myself. I need a change. Not a new hair color or new wardrobe. It's time to get in shape. Time to feel good about the guy looking back at me in the mirror. For so long it was easy to say, "maybe next week. I'll wait till I find someone to go with." So far all I've gotten from that is a larger waistline. It's time to find my own challenges. Materialistic motivation was good for the younger, immature, cocky 21 year old who first started out. 5 years later, and that stuff just doesn't get the job done. I have to stop whining.  It's time to blaze some trails. Time to find myself. Time, to get off my ass, and live.